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Moo Deng vs Butterbear: Who Would Win in a Fight?

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It’s time to settle the fight for the top of the pyramid once and for all: who would win in a no-holds-barred fight, Moo Deng or Butterbear?

When the time comes to rise against humankind, who would be leading the animal kingdom to victory? Who would rule them all as the ultimate mascot — the most relatable, viral meme queen of all relatable, viral meme queens?

In the blue corner, it’s Moo Deng the pygmy hippo. In the red corner, it’s Butterbear in all her buttery fluffiness. Let’s examine how the fight would go and determine the odds.

[Hero and featured image credit: Khao Kheow Open Zoo; Butterbear/Facebook]

Moo Deng vs Butterbear: Who would win in a fight?

Hero and featured image credit: Khao Kheow Open Zoo; Butterbear/Facebook

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Moo Deng:

  • Approx. 225kg (at mature age)
  • Around two months old
  • Four-legged
  • Moist

Butterbear

  • Approx. 8kg
  • Three years old (as per lore)
  • Bipedal
  • Fluffy with a very demure wardrobe

Pros in combat

Moo Deng

  • Visitors pelted things at him (combat experience)
  • Expertise in combat roll, combat run, combat scream
  • Can withstand water attacks

Butterbear

  • Soulless eyes (you can’t tell what she’s thinking)
  • Arms, so probably can hold a knife
  • Dance ability perfect for fighting (see Pitch Perfect 3)

Cons in combat

Moo Deng

  • Confined to experience at her enclosure
  • No arms
  • A literal baby

Butterbear

  • Facial expressions stuck in place, can’t intimidate enemy
  • Has a strict schedule at her cafe
  • Not as moist

Fights they would win

Moo Deng

  • Synchronised swimming
  • Karaoke
  • Foiling the evil plans of Dr Doofenshmirtz

Butterbear

  • Dance Dance Revolution
  • Staring contest
  • Call of Duty

This story first appeared on Lifestyle Asia Bangkok 

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