Joan Chen Is Ready for Her Career Renaissance

In Didi, Sean Wang’s semi-autobiographical debut feature, Chris (Izaac Wang) is a 13-year-old boy growing up in the Bay Area during the late aughts and exploring the kind of person he wants to be. Doing so is not easy—between navigating new and old friendships, dealing with a thrilling yet disorienting crush, and experiencing a new (if misplaced) frustration with his family, Chris goes through his share of growing pains before making some valuable and unexpected discoveries about himself and the people he loves.

Though the movie, which releases nationwide on Aug. 16, is undeniably a coming-of-age film, the true heart of the story lies within the complicated but tender relationship between Chris and his mother, Chungsing. That’s largely due to the standout performance of veteran actor Joan Chen. The 63-year-old Chen plays Chungsing, a mother with unrealized artistic dreams, with a complexity and grace that reminds us why she’s been an internationally renowned talent for the past five decades.

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Chen, who began her acting career as a 14-year-old growing up in China during the Cultural Revolution, is widely regarded as one of her home country’s best actors, even being referred to as “the Elizabeth Taylor of China.” She may be best known to Western audiences for her roles in cult classics like David Lynch’s Twin Peaks and Bernardo Bertolucci’s The Last Emperor, and in later years, has made a name for herself as a director with projects like her critically acclaimed film Xiu Xiu: The Sent Down Girl and the American romance film Autumn in New York. Her storied career is part of why Wang says that including her in his film was a “dream come true.”

“Joan just has that presence and she gave the movie such warmth and generosity,” Wang told TIME. “She never once made me feel self-conscious about being a first-time director, and this is someone who's worked with Ang Lee and David Lynch. It was truly a dream working with her.”

For Chen, the film’s nuanced depiction of the relationship between an immigrant mother and her first-generation child hit close to home, especially since her own daughter worked on the film. 

“It’s a relationship that is the most intimate and most loving, but at the same time, so fraught with misunderstanding and a cultural chasm, simply because I am an immigrant, but I’m trying to raise two American children,” says Chen. 

TIME caught up with Chen to talk about Didi, motherhood, and the struggle to balance art with life.

TIME: What drew you to this film?

Chen: A great script, first of all. When Sean gave me the script, we hadn’t met yet, and it came with a lovely letter, and a beautiful looKBOok—it was a true vision, very detailed but true; everything were shots from his own home, his own life. I felt such genuine feelings in him. 

You're a parent of two girls. When you first read the script, did you think about your own journey with motherhood when thinking about the relationship between Chris and Chungsing? 

Very much so—that relationship resonated with me very deeply. Sean's mom and I, we're the same, we're immigrants from a very faraway place and we raised two American children. It’s a relationship that is the most intimate and most loving, but at the same time, so fraught with misunderstanding and a cultural chasm. My own children's adolescences were extremely tumultuous, so I understand all the drama, the pain, and also, the unintended mistakes that parents make—I’ve made so many mistakes and they've taught me so much, so all of that informed the character. At the same time, it felt so cathartic to be able to express that side of myself, that I didn't have the chance to in the past.

How did you prepare for the role? I know Sean has talked about his mother’s involvement with the film, but did you also think about your relationship to your own mother in addition to your daughters?

Sean did some really lengthy interviews with his own mom and he gave them to me, so I saw how the story came about. Sean's mom's mannerisms, her tone of voice—that was fun to try to incorporate as the emotional core. I never had a chance to really rebel against my mom. I always adored her when I was a child. She was very, very intelligent and beautiful and she loved her profession; it was a great example for me. And I left home to work at 14. My adolescence was so different. I grew up during the Cultural Revolution in China, where our horizons were very narrow, and [we had] a very limited environment and knowledge of the world or any other kind of lives to have—and that, in a way, informed the character. 

I remember when my oldest daughter was in preschool, after the first Thanksgiving break, I went to pick her up and the principal sort of gave me a little talk. “Angela [Chen’s daughter] said you didn't celebrate Thanksgiving. It's good to have that for your kid.” And I just felt like “Jesus, I failed so terribly.” Because Thanksgiving meant nothing to me. You often feel inadequate and you make mistakes. That informed the character emotionally.

The movie is a coming-of-age film, but it ultimately feels to me like a film about the relationship between a mother and a son.

Yeah, it really is—I felt that when I read the script, that even though it is completely from a 13-year-old point of view, it's also a love letter to his mom. I actually also had Sean's mom record all the lines for me, just so I could see her delivery, why it might be different, why she did it that way. It was a fun exercise.

In the film, as Chris grows up and realizes who he wants to be, it helps him understand that his mother is a person outside of being a mother, basically outside of the context of him. He realizes that she had dreams of her own, maybe even dreams of a different kind of life that might not have always included him.

It’s hard for children to imagine there was a life before them, that we may have already lived a rich life before they came on to the scene. For most children, it's very utilitarian—their parents are there to provide what they need. I remember when I had to leave home, I tried not to do it as often as I possibly could, but sometimes when a good project came, I did leave home and leave them behind. There was guilt and this misunderstanding because for young children, even if you’re not gone too long, they can feel abandoned. They don't think about you needing to have your creative expression—they wouldn't know that! I think my children, slowly and later on, understood. Sean realized that his mom had other aspirations and dreams. I love the scene when Chungsing talks about her own dreams that would never be realized, but at the same time, there was fulfillment in that sacrifice and that fulfillment can be enough. That tells you a lot about motherhood—I think a lot of mothers feel that way.

As an artist, did you relate to Chungsing’s desire to pursue her craft? 

I felt that deeply. When I was raising two very young children, there were times you’d feel a hunger, a certain emptiness that you're not fulfilled and you couldn't be happy this way, without continuing to create. It’s such a hard balance—you know your children need you the most, which, in a way, is so rewarding because no one else needed you ever as much as your children. Each time I left for a project, when I came back, they just welcome you back. But later in life, I understood that it had done some harm. In the film, the father was the absentee, but in my real life, I'm always that one. When your children need you, your own dreams are secondary—there are things more important than yourself. All of that made me really emotional in the whole process of doing this film. It was a very cathartic experience for me. 

I remember when we were filming the last scene when Chris and his mom are just looking at each other. I could see his eyes looking at me, so vulnerable, innocent, he’s seeing his mother, but also telling his mother with his eyes, “I need you and I love you.” I couldn't stop the tears from pouring; it was a long time until I could do the scene. In a way, it was also very redemptive because my own daughter was with me that month on summer vacation from college. She was helping out on the set. It was a way to have more understanding between me and my own daughter. I think for the first time she saw me at work, seeing other people's appreciation of my work and understanding, “my mother also needs to do something else other than being the mother” 

What was the experience of having your daughter work on the production? Has it impacted your relationship?

Very much so—we got closer after that, so I'm very, very grateful. We had a very fraught time for a few years during their adolescence, and obviously, the most responsible one for that situation is myself. But there is just never a good time to try to reach them, to understand after all that happened. But during the shoot, it was the best opportunity. It was a crucial time for us to get back to each other and to have that understanding of the love that I felt for her and that she feels for me. And she felt a sense of participation in my work. She came to Sundance with me, and afterwards, she told me, “I think you're going to have your renaissance.” I never thought they really cared that much about my career!

You’re an internationally renowned actor with a five-decade career. In addition to Didi,  you’re going to appear in a new Andrew Ahn film next year. Watching your performance in Didi, I was so happy to see a really nuanced portrayal of what an Asian and Asian American experience can be like on screen. How do you think these roles have evolved in Hollywood since you started acting? What would you still like to see change in the future?

Yeah, it's really been improving. Things had dried up for me for a long time, which is why I returned to China to work—there weren't much [roles] here. But all of a sudden this year, I'm incredibly busy. I do see, throughout the years, how different things are now, so it's extremely encouraging. With Didi and The Wedding Banquet, I could see that Sean and [Andrew] Ahn are able to express a very nuanced, humanized version of family life and it’s not just making something that's like an oddity that’s different or exotic—just deeply humanized and authentic. That reaches across barriers, people of all races would be able to feel something in Didi. We do share a lot more than we are different. We have the same aspirations, dreams, pains and joy in the family. I'm really happy that they're able to do that now and I'm so happy that I'm still around, after half a century of work, that I'm still vertical and could be part of it.

Some of your most memorable and intense scenes in the film are with Chang Li Hua, who plays Chris’ grandmother, but is also Sean’s real-life grandmother (she was also one of the subjects of his short doc, Nǎi Nai & Wài Pó). What was it like working with her? 

She is vivacious and such a vital force! It was fun to play with her. In the very beginning, I was slightly concerned because it was someone who was 86, who never performed, but then again, I did see Nǎi Nai & Wài Pó, so I knew she had the charm. I'm so happy that Sean casted his grandma because it makes everything very different and unique. People have never seen an actress exactly like her. It also challenged me to wipe out any trace of performance. You can't have that, you have to be homegrown and lived-in and authentic. After the first rehearsal, I was no longer concerned—I knew it would work, we could fit just like a puzzle. Now, looking at the film, I think it was a genius touch.