BREAKING NEWS: Keanu Reeves Refuses to Present Whoopi Goldbergs Lifetime Achievement Award: Shes Not a Good Person Full story.cau

Keanu Reeves is one of the nicest, most genuine people in Hollywood. Whoopi Goldberg, on the other hand, was recently voted most hated person in Tinsel Town, a distinction nobody seems to be able to refute.

Reeves was chosen to present this years Lifetime Achievement award by the TV Production Committee, a role he was honored to take onuntil he heard that hed have to share the stage and present the award to Whoopi Goldberg.

Shes not a nice person, said Reeves in a voice that almost sounded like he was addressing Rufus outside the Circle K, I dont want to be remembered as the guy who made that mistake.

Justin Timberlake, Wynona Ryder, and Gloria Estefan also declined. Theyre still waiting to hear back from Jackie and Kelso, who desperately need something different to happen in their lives, but nobody seems to be able to find them.

Others believe that they may also be in a shallower thing, such as a ditch or even a puddle, but everyone agrees they are likely dead from embarrassment, joining their careers. Topher Grace was unavailable for comment, once again leaving his dignity intact.

Reeves said theres no way hell change his mind, no matter how dumb the story gets. God Bless America.