Babies, Cohabitation, Boundaries, Oh My: A Dating Coach on Emily in Paris Season 4

Warning: This post contains spoilers for Season 4 Part 1 of Emily in Paris.

Breaking up is always hard to do, but it’s even more of a challenge when you’re still sharing space with your ex. That’s the tension at the heart of one of the major storylines in Season 4, Part 1 of Emily in Paris, which releases today on Netflix. For former longtime couple Gabriel and Camille, their shared History is at the forefront of their still-intertwined lives, thanks to their continued cohabitation during the new season. 

Despite the fact that both have embarked on new romantic relationships—Gabriel with Emily and Camille with Sofia—the former couple are still living together for much of the new season (albeit also with Camille’s new partner Sofia), while Camille searches for a new apartment. Gabriel and Camille’s presence in each other’s lives, despite the end of their romantic relationship, is also seemingly no temporary arrangement—as the Season 3 finale revealed, the duo are expecting their first child together, a situation that Gabriel tells Camille when she tries to return her engagement ring, means they “will always be family.”

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Family though they may always be, Gabriel and Camille’s new consciously uncoupled relationship and cozy shared space proves tricky for the two to navigate—and even harder for their new partners. For both Emily and Sofia, Gabriel and Camille’s closeness, despite their split, is anxiety-inducing and sometimes provokes jealousy. That Gabriel and Camille will soon be co-parents adds further anxiety for the new partners, who know that this endeavor will mean lots of time and space shared together. Needless to say, the current and former lovers in Emily in Paris are in a sticky situation when it comes to traversing their relationships, both new and old. For dating expert and Agape Match founder Maria Avgitidis, who’s been called “Instagram’s favorite matchmaker,” the entire situation is a definite red flag for everyone involved.

Avgitidis says that while dating as a single parent is something that can be done successfully, she wouldn’t advise either Gabriel or Camille to start a new relationship during the period leading up to becoming parents or in the time immediately afterwards.

“It’s messy—from the perspective of the man in question, who's cohabitating with his pregnant ex-girlfriend, he’s not aware of the massive identity shift that he’s about to experience,” Avgitidis tells TIME. “Even if they were together, when the baby is born—his priorities are going to shift, his responsibilities are going to shift, and his wants and needs in life might shift. You need to have the self-awareness that the person who's carrying your child, even if you’re not together, is going to need you physically and emotionally over the next few months after pregnancy—and that’s not dragging someone along who doesn't know what ride they're in for.”

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Avigitidis says that the inevitable dynamics of welcoming a new child can add pressure to new relationships, where partners like Emily and Sofia, who are dating the parents, may feel anxious or feel that they’re unable to ask for the boundaries they need. In the case of Emily, who knows that Gabriel is still living with the pregnant Camille, Avigitidis says that it would be normal for her to feel coNFLicting emotions.

“He’s going from [being a] cohabitator with an ex, which is already a red flag, to living with a co-parent, and it will really affect the person that he's currently dating,” Avigitidis says. “Think about it—she lives somewhere else, she’s probably experiencing confusion, extreme anxiety and at the same time, deep empathy.”

Avgitidis says that the Healthiest thing for all the characters to have done in this situation would have been to set clear boundaries—the most outstanding of which she believes would be Gabriel and Camille not living together after their breakup, no matter how temporary the situation was supposed to be. While continuing to live together after a breakup is not a new dileMMA, especially for residents of major cities, where affordability and accessibility are both in high demand, Avgitidis says that it is crucial to have boundaries with your ex ahead of a new relationship.

“If a person is living with their ex, even without the pregnancy, there has to be a boundary,” Avgitidis says. “Establish a distance—that distance can be moving out, getting a rooMMAte, finding somewhere else—there's 100 solutions and none of the solutions are living with your ex if you are actually ready to date, because it is reasonable for a person you are now dating to expect you to actually be physically single.”

In an ideal world, Avgitidis hopes that Gabriel would have taken initiative to put his budding relationship with Emily on pause, to prepare for the life shifts that a child would bring.

“Boundaries need to become self-evident,” she says. “I think that that if this person who is about to become a father was a good person, he would turn to the person that he is dating and say, ‘My life is going to change right now, and I need to deal with these priorities instead of getting to know you and giving a part of myself to you that I cannot afford to give away.’ They can revisit it in a year.”

Of course, given that Emily in Paris is a fictional TV show, all parties will revisit these pressing issues much sooner than that, when Part 2 of the new season arrives on Netflix next month. These may not make for proper dating boundaries, but they do make for good television.