What it’s REALLY like being married to J-Lo, by her first husband

The man across from me describes a remarkable moment: after a heated argument, his soon-to-be ex-wife, Jennifer Lopez, was brooding in their California marital home. Moments later, she calls him—their mansion is so vast he wouldn’t hear her even if she screamed—pleading for him to come upstairs. What happened next, he recounts, was one of the most intense and passionate experiences of their marriage. “It was incredible, but also deeply bittersweet, knowing it marked the end of our journey together.”

Ojani Noa married Jennifer Lopez in 1997 and is the only one of her four spouses to have known and loved her before she became a global icon

One could easily picture similarly intense moments as Jennifer Lopez’s marriage to Ben Affleck unraveled.

Jennifer filed for divorce last month, two years after their highly publicized second attempt at marriage, having previously been engaged to him from 2002 to 2004.

Yet the man sharing these reflections is not Lopez’s most recent husband but her first: Ojani Noa, the original Mr. J-Lo. Their brief union in 1997, which lasted just 11 months, set the stage for her subsequent marriages—to dancer Cris Judd, singer Marc Anthony, and finally, Affleck. Notably, she used the same endearment, “Papi” (Spanish for “Daddy”), for both Ojani and Affleck.

As the only one of her four spouses who knew her before she achieved global fame, Ojani has a unique perspective on the complexities of being married to, and divorced from, Jennifer Lopez.

“I was the first, the pioneer,” he tells the Mail in an exclusive interview. “I supported her at the start of her career, dealing with her anxieties and insecurities.”

Ojani, who still speaks with a touch of nostalgia, reflects, “I was a really good husband because I believe in marriage. When we divorced, I was heartbroken. It felt like once she achieved what she wanted, I was no longer needed.”

Their whirlwind romance began in 1997, just over a year after they met, but ended just 11 months later.

“I invested a lot of time and effort into loving her,” he says. “But in a relationship, it’s crucial to spend quality time together, not just be focused on being in the spotlight.”

Now 49, Ojani is a personal trainer and actor/producer based in Miami. His journey to the U.S. was marked by hardship; at 15, he made a perilous 90-mile journey from Cuba to Florida on an inflatable raft with six friends.

He worked tirelessly to build a new life, washing cars on Miami streets and later working as a dishwasher at Gloria Estefan’s restaurant, Larios On The Beach. By the time he was 22, he had become a waiter there when Jennifer, then 27, walked in.

Ojani, who remains single and has never remarried, still possesses the striking looks that initially captivated Jennifer. He recalls not knowing who she was but being struck by her beauty. “She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,” he says. “She had an incredible body then, and she still does.”

Jennifer returned the following day, and her assistant requested that Ojani serve at their table. They struck up a conversation despite the language barrier—Jennifer didn’t speak much Spanish, and Ojani’s English was limited—but they laughed and connected.

It was 1996, and Jennifer was in town filming *Blood and Wine* with Jack Nicholson and Michael Caine. After the film’s wrap party, her assistant invited Ojani to a nearby club at Jennifer’s request. They danced and shared a kiss, and Ojani felt an immediate connection. “It was like we’d known each other forever,” he recalls.

Jennifer returned to Los Angeles the next day, but for weeks, they stayed in touch with long phone conversations. “My phone bills were crazy,” Ojani laughs. “But we got to know each other better.”

Weeks later, Jennifer invited Ojani to accompany her to the premiere of *Blood and Wine*. Ojani rented a suit for the occasion, stepping onto the red carpet amid flashing cameras and enthusiastic fans, feeling a wave of anxiety.

He recalls meeting Michael Caine, who reassured him with the words, “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”

“I had come to this country on a raft,” Ojani reflects. “It was overwhelming.”

After the event, they returned to her hotel, where Ojani describes their first intimate encounter as “perfect.”

Did he ever question what a rising star saw in a Cuban waiter?

He nods. “I asked her, ‘Why me? I’m just a regular guy.’”

Jennifer’s response was heartfelt: “I know, but I saw something special in you that I didn’t see in the other guys I worked with.”

Ojani felt fortunate. “So, I thought, well, I’m the lucky one.”

In contrast to the constant media scrutiny surrounding Jennifer and Ben’s recent relationship, Ojani’s time with Jennifer was far more private. “I had moved into Jennifer’s apartment and was working for a craft services company, providing food for film sets,” he says. “When she was filming, I’d work and then join her on set. On weekends, we’d go shopping, catch movies, or dine at casual restaurants.”

He adds, “Whatever money I had, I’d pay—and so would she. She introduced me to her friends, and I never felt like an outsider. We were simply happy and in love.”

Within months of their serious relationship, they began discussing marriage. Ojani proposed about a year and a half after they met, during the wrap party for *Selena*. As Jennifer’s star was on the rise following her role in the biopic about the slain Latina singer, Ojani got down on one knee in front of the cheering cast and crew, making his heartfelt proposal.

Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce from Ben Affleck last month, two years after walking down the aisle in a highly-publicised second run at love

Jennifer Lopez’s engagement ring, costing $15,000, might seem modest compared to Ben Affleck’s $5.6 million green diamond, but Ojani Noa chuckles, “It was still a lot of money back then.”

Rather than being a high-maintenance bride, Jennifer was remarkably calm. “We were in Arizona while she was filming. On weekends, we’d fly to Miami to meet with the wedding planner,” he recalls. “Everything was really laid-back, even though we fell in love quickly.”

Their wedding was a stark contrast to Jennifer’s later grand ceremonies with Ben. Instead of the two lavish celebrations—a quick Las Vegas ceremony followed by an extravagant event at Affleck’s 87-acre Georgia estate—Jennifer and Ojani tied the knot in a friend’s backyard in Miami. Their honeymoon was a simple getaway to Key West, Florida, where they visited museums and enjoyed a boat ride. “Our honeymoon was humble and pure, nothing like her latest extravagant trips to Paris and Italy,” Ojani says.

Watching Jennifer and Ben’s honeymoon under the scrutiny of paparazzi, Ojani noticed a frustration in Ben’s demeanor. “In some pictures, Ben looks like he’s there but wishes he wasn’t being photographed. I understand that. The wedding is for everyone, but the honeymoon is a private time. It seemed like she was showing off their honeymoon to the world.”

As Ojani and Jennifer settled into their married life in LA, it was, he says, a blissful time. “We’d work, come home, and cook dinner together—simple Latin meals like rice, beans, and chicken.”

But the relationship soon began to unravel. Ojani finds echoes of his own experiences in Jennifer’s recent Netflix documentary, *The Greatest Love Story Never Told*, which explores her romance with Ben. He notes the parallels in Jennifer’s behavior: “She would ask me if she looked fat in outfits just like she did with Ben. I’d always reassure her, even though she knew she looked great.”

Another scene in the documentary shows Ben comforting Jennifer over worries about her film *This is Me… Now*. “Jennifer used to have panic attacks during her career’s early days,” Ojani recalls. “I’d comfort her, holding her hand and telling her she was doing great.”

Life with one of the world’s most famous women was emotionally turbulent, he says. Despite her four marriages and numerous expressions of love, Ojani questions how much more love she might be seeking. “She’s been loved before, so I wonder how much love she still needs.”

Ojani believes that Jennifer’s desire for public attention, especially after the success of *Selena*, contributed to their relationship’s demise. “She started to enjoy the media attention more, even though I’d advise her to keep things private,” he says. He notices a similar frustration in Ben, who was often photographed looking displeased.

One video clip that went viral shows Ben slamming a car door after holding it open for Jennifer. Ojani empathizes with Ben’s frustration, recalling his own discomfort with the public facade. “I could see myself in that situation. We’d often pretend everything was fine in public, even when things were falling apart.”

Ojani also relates to the tensions that arise when maintaining a public image while struggling privately. “I’d have arguments with Jennifer and then be expected to act as if everything was fine. It’s hard to pretend forever. I hated the red carPet events and would refuse to go if I felt like I was just pretending.”

In the end, Ojani’s reflections provide a poignant glimpse into the emotional highs and lows of being married to Jennifer Lopez, contrasting sharply with the glamorous image often portrayed in the media.

Ojani reveals that he was the one to end their marriage, and shortly after, he received divorce papers. He reportedly settled for $50,000 after their split in January 1998.

“I never looked at another woman while I was with Jennifer,” Ojani says. “But I felt painted as the bad guy. Her team wanted to preserve her image amid all the publicity surrounding her movie and album, so they made it seem like I didn’t want to be with her, which wasn’t true.”

He notes similarities between his own experience and Ben Affleck’s current situation, as recent reports have painted Ben as “selfish and negative.” Despite this, Ojani praises Ben, saying, “I’ve met him, and he’s an amazing guy. He’s very private, even if he’s in the spotlight.”

Regarding Jennifer, Ojani comments, “She seems to thrive on the spotlight to maintain her public presence.”

Yet, he harbors no resentment. “I have no bad feelings at all. I would always be her friend and sympathize with both of them because divorce is tough.”

When asked if he would consider being her fifth husband if romance were to rekindle, he laughs and says, “No way!”

Ojani’s advice for Jennifer is sincere. “Stay single for a while, maybe take 12 months off. If you meet someone new, keep it private and avoid rushing into marriage.” He adds, “Focus on being yourself so you can truly find yourself.”