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Taylor Swift Now Giving Out Love Advice via Instagram




In between her many gym outings and subsequent hour-long makeup applications, Taylor Swift carved out a few minutes to offer up some relationship advice to a fan searching for love in a cruel, cold world. A young fan named Hannah (aka @SherbetSwift) reached out to Taylor after finding out that her crush already had a girlfriend with an “amazing figure.” Taylor, flaxen-haired angel that she is, replied to Hannah with the following message:

“Hannah. Eyes, eyes, eyes. Woah. You have the prettiest, widest, most child like eyes. (Composes herself) Okay. About this guy. I think we grow up thinking the only love that counts as true love is the kind that lasts forever or is fully realized. When you have a broken heart, the first thing a stranger will ask is ‘how long were you two together?’ As if your pain can be determined by how long you were with someone.

Or if you were with them at all. I don’t think that’s how it works. I think unrequited love is just as valid as any other kind. It’s just as crushing and just as thrilling. No matter what happens in this situation, I want you to remember that what you are doing is selfless and beautiful and kind. You are loving someone purely because you love them, not because you think you’ll ever have your affections reciprocated. You are admiring something for its beauty, without needing to own it. Feel good about being the kind of person who loves selflessly. I think someday you’ll find someone who loves you in that exact same way.”

It’s good advice! Hannah (who has since changed her account name) seemed to think so, too, because she thanked Taylor by responding, “I feel like you’re the big sister I don’t have.” Aww. At this point, Taylor’s résumé of extracurricular activities — advice-dispensing, painting, baking, embroidering, and writing op-eds — is so long that I’m starting to worry she’ll never make another album. Do not forget your true calling, T-Swift! The world desperately needs the sequel to Red. For starters, just transcribe that entire Instagram message into lyrics. Boom! There’s your first single.